1. Follow through.
Whenever you speak or interact with your child, whether to greet, ask a question, or make a request, it is a teaching opportunity for both of you. Often times, I see parents make a request to their child but fail to provide praise or feedback. When a parent does not follow-up with the child on the request, the parent teaches the child that he/she does not have to respond. Each interaction provides your child the opportunity to learn. As a parent, you want to provide your child two things: adequate time to respond and feedback on their response. Three to five seconds is the average response for most children with autism. Feedback can be provided to correct or praise.
2. Use natural context.
What I mean by natural contexts is that, as a parent you can see various events throughout the day as teaching opportunities. If your child wants to go outside, for example, I recommend for you to work with him on words that apply to the context of the experience. You can ask him to say “shoes,” which he would need, or to say “door or knock, which he may have to do or touch. To explain further, you can teach your child words or language related to the context of the moment. Try not to ask your child to say or do something outside of the context like, e.g., you ask her to say “banana” but there is no picture or actual banana in sight.
3. Respect your child’s individuality
Everyone is different whether on the spectrum or not and we must respect differences. Perhaps you would like to see your child push a shopping cart at the store instead of being fixated on the wheels, but that may not actually be what she may want to do with the car. If you insist, you would be forcing her to do something she does not want to do, which could lead your child to withdraw from the social interaction all together. Instead of trying to prompt or redirect your child to how you think things should be, e.g., how an airplane should fly or the car be driven, watch how she is doing things. You can then look for ways to engage with her in a similar fashion on other things. This will communicate that you respect her interest and individuality and in turn, you will have a much more positive social engagement.
4. Be patient. W.A.I.T .(Why Am I Talking)
If your child displays inappropriate behaviors to either get something or when something is taken away, you can immediately ignore the behavior extinction). You can do this by turning your head away, standing up, or removing the item they are trying to get. Continue to ignore the behavior(s) until your child has completely stopped or is stopping from performing them. Your child may get louder or become more aggressive (extinction burst), if this is happening be grounded, as this is normal. In this situation you have to continue to ignore the child’s behavior. While ignoring the behavior, do not speak or use any vocal communication (WAIT). If you speak, you may unintentionally reinforce (praise and influence to occur more often) the inappropriate behavior.
5. Don’t forget to be a parent!
It is easy to forget sometimes. Parents often ask, “what can I do at home to help?” or “ how can I work on this or that?”. The answer is to just be the parent you were meant to be to your child . If your child is like most on the spectrum, their day is filled with special day classes, OT, Speech, bus ride home and home ABA. The last thing they want, is to come home to mom and dad asking them to “sit down”, “no, try again!”, “sit down”. Play with your kids, if they do not have a lot of interests, stand with them, stare at the same things, spin the same wheels, press the same buttons. As parents, your job is to support your kids and their personal individuality. So believe me, just because you’re not telling them to “touch blue”, does not mean that your simple, basic, social interaction is not beneficial to their learning and your relationship
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